Back Country & Avalanche Safety

It’s that time of the year that the winter enthusiast has been waiting for. Whether you’re a backcountry skier, snowboarder, hiker or snowmobiler’s back country safety is without a question  of paramount importance.  People are killed enjoying back country activities every year. In some cases, the fatalities may have been avoided. In other cases, people were prepared, skilled and smart yet they still got hurt. Back country skiing is inherently dangerous and you should be aware of that every time you head out. I strongly advise a backcountry safety course to brush up on avalanche safety before you head out for the first run on the season. The Canadian Avalanche Center offer Avalanche safety training courses. The ability to recognize and avoid avalanche terrain and effectively rescue a member of the group buried by an avalanche are essential winter survival skills for outdoors enthusiasts.  Visit http://www.avalanche.ca/cac/training/ast or you local outdoor skills center for more info.

Below are some of the absolute necessity you should have before you head out .

ESSENTIAL EQUIPMENT

TRANSCEIVER

Avalanche transceivers are small electronic devices worn by all members of a team. When travelling, everyone sends out a radio signal; in the event of an avalanche those not buried switch to search mode and follow the signal towards a buried person. 

SHOVEL

You think shovelling is straightforward? Think again. Good shoveling technique can save you tens of minutes if you’re trying to get someone out of a  deep hole! But you need the right tool – not all shovels are created equal!

PROBE

Transceivers get you close fast and a probe is how you actually find someone. Probes are like sectional tent poles that snap together. An assembled probe inserted in the snow in a systematic pattern lets you physically pinpoint someone under the snow so you don’t waste time digging.

BACK COUNTRY KIT SURVIVAL GEAR

flashlight, candles, tool kit, pocket knife, first aid kit, strobe, radio or cell, high energy food/drinks, tow rope, waterproof matches, extra batteries, extra key, ax and saw, mirror/reflective material, thermal blanket, spark drive belt and spark plugs (for snowmobile) Ensure you have a map and compass, extra mitts & socks, extra boot liners, flares, metal cup or pot along with extra fuel.Pack smart and check your equipment and tools each time before you head 

RECOMMENED EQUIPMENT

AIRBAGS

Avalanche airbags reduce the severity of the effects of being in an avalanche by reducing burial depth (or even preventing burial) and facilitating rapid localization. They also help with visibility and may provide some degree of trauma protection.

By no means is this a comprehensive safety training program or document. Please seek professional advice before heading out into the back country.  As a back country Enthusiast and safety professional this is just a general safety message before you head out and enjoy some fresh power.

CRSP Study Tips (Science based study tips)

• Study when sleepy. Bedtime stories are for wimps. Instead of reading The Berenstein Bears, try studying for a few minutes right before hitting the hay. During sleep, the brain strengthens new memories, so there’s a good chance we’ll remember whatever we review right before dozing off[1]. (Just try not to bring work into the actual bed, since it can make it harder to get a good night’s sleep.) And though bedtime is primo study time, it might also help to crack open the books after cracking open those eyes in the A.M. — in the morning, the brain still has lots of room to absorb new information.
• Space it out. A relatively new learning technique called “spaced repetition” involves breaking up information into small chunks and reviewing them consistently over a long period of time. So don’t try to memorize the entire periodic table in one sitting — instead, learn a few rows every day and review each lesson before starting anything new. 
• Tell a tale. Turning the details you need to remember into a crazy story helps make the information more meaningful. For example, remember the order of mathematic operations PEMDAS this way: Philip (P) wanted to eat (E) his friend Mary (M) but he died (D) from arsenic (AS) poisoning.
• Move your butt. Research suggests studying the same stuff in a different place every day makes usless likely to forget that information. That’s because, every time we move around (from the library to the coffee shop, or the coffee shop to the toilet seat), we force the brain to form new associations with the same material so it becomes a stronger memory.
• Switch it up. Don’t stick to one topic; instead, study a bunch of different material in one sitting. This technique helps prepare us to use the right strategy for finding the solution to a problem. For example, doing a bunch of division problems in a row means every time we approach a problem, we know it’ll require some division. But doing a series of problems that require multiplication, division, or addition means we have to stop and think about which strategy is best.
• Put yourself to the test. Quizzing ourselves may be one of the best ways to prepare for the real deal. And don’t worry about breaking a sweat while trying to remember the name of the 37th U.S. president (fyi, it’s Nixon): The harder it is to remember a piece of information in practice mode, the more likely we are to remember it in the future.
• Write it out. Put those third-grade penmanship lessons to good use. Research suggests we store information more securely when we write it out by hand than when we type it. Start by recopying the most important notes from the semester onto a new sheet of paper.
• Make me wanna shout. Reading information out loud means mentally storing it in two ways: seeing it and hearing it[2]. We just can’t guarantee you won’t get thrown out of the library
• Stay Focused 
• Come together (right now). Group work doesn’t fly with everyone, but for those who benefit from a little team effort, a study group’s the way to go. Pick a few studious pals and get together every few days to review the material. Put one person in charge of delegating tasks (snack duty, music selection) and keeping the group on target with its goals. 
• Treat yo’ self! A healthy holiday cookie, a walk around the block, five minutes of tweet-time: whatever floats your boat. Knowing there’s a little reward waiting for us at the end of just a few pages makes it easier to beat procrastination while slogging through a semester’s worth of notes.
• Drink up. Sorry, not that kind of drink. Instead, hit the local coffee shop for something caffeine-filled; there’s lots of research suggesting coffee (and tea) keeps us alert, especially when nothing seems more exciting than the shiny gum wrapper on the library floor[3].
• Take a time out. Taking time to plan is one of the most important skills a student can have. Don’t just start the week with the vague goal of studying for a history exam — instead, break up that goal into smaller tasks. Pencil it in on the calendar like a regular class: For example, allot every day from 1 to 3 p.m. to review 50 years’ worth of info.
• Gimme a break. The KitKat guys said it, and so does science: Taking regular breaks can boost productivity and improve our ability to focus on a single task[4]. For a real productivity boost, step away from the screen and break a sweat during a midday gym sesh.
• Work it out. Get stronger and brainier at the same time. Research has found just half an hour of aerobic exercise can improve our brain-processing speed and other important cognitive abilities. Jog a few laps around the block and see if you don’t come back with a few more IQ points.
• Daaaance to the music. As anyone who’s ever relied on Rihanna to make it through an all-night study session knows, music can help beat stress. And while everyone’s got a different tune preference, classical music in particular has been shown to reduce anxiety and tension. So give those biology notes a soundtrack and feel at least some of the stress slide away.
• Nix the ’net. We’ve all been there, facing the siren call of a friend’s Facebook wall on the eve of a giant exam. If a computer’s necessary for studying, try an app (such as this one) that blocks the Internet for a short period of time and see how much more you get done.
• Say om. Just before staring at a piece of paper for three hours, stare at a wall for three minutes. Research suggests meditation can reduce anxiety and boost attention span. While those studies focus mostly on regular meditation, there’s no harm in trying it out for a few minutes to calm pre-test jitters[5].
• Doze off. When there’s a textbook full of equations to memorize, it can be tempting to stay up all night committing them to memory (or trying to). But all-nighters rarely lead to an automatic A — in fact, they’ve been linked to impaired cognitive performance and greater sensitivity to stress[6]. In the days leading up to a big exam, aim to get those seven to nine hours a night so sleep deprivation doesn’t undo all the hard work you’ve put in.
• Own the Omegas. Omega-3 fatty acids, found in certain fish, nuts, and olive oil, are known for their brain-boosting potential. One study found that eating a combination of Omega-3-and Omega-6 fatty acids before an exam actually reduced test anxiety[7].
• Feel free to inhale. Dusty old library again… or spa day? Research has found that catching a whiff of essential oils (like rosemary or lavender) can help calm students down before a big exam[8]. Skip the frantic last-minute review and try a few minutes of aromatherapy instead.
• Practice your brain pose. Hardcore yogis tend to have better cognitive abilities — especially attention span — than folks less familiar with Down Dog[9]. A few daily sun salutations may be all it takes to keep centered during finals period.
• Learn what works. Some people are early birds; some are night owls; some prefer to study with a pal; others need complete and total silence. Experiment to find what’s most effective for you, and then stick with it!

Dangers of High Fructose Corn Syrup

Lung Cancer Awareness Month.

November is officially Lung Cancer Awareness Month.

This year, as in the past, lung cancer will kill more people than any other cancer. In fact, lung cancer will claim more lives than the next four leading cancer killers—breast, prostate, colon and pancreas cancers—combined.

INFOGRAPHIC: HOW DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT?

Luckiest Truck Driver In Russia

                                     



                              THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD WHERE A SEAT BELT

Alberta is Working - Calgary Job Fair

Alberta is Working - Calgary Job Fair 
Event Date: October 17, 2012
Start Time: 9:00 am
End Time: 5:00 pm
Location: Atrium Heart Building

                SAIT Polytechnic

                1301- 16 Ave NW

                Calgary, AB
Event Type: Career Fair
Open To: Those pursuing a career in Oil and Gas, Manufacturing, Technology, Transportation, or Construction
How to Register: No registration required

Bonfire Safety

It’s that time of year again when we’re all getting ready to wrap up warm and enjoy a great fireworks display. Although the night is supposed to be fun, it doesn’t come without its dangers.

Here are our Top 10 tips on staying safe this bonfire night…

1. Keep children away from fireworks
The powder inside a firework is flammable and toxic. Hide all fireworks and sparklers from children and only get them out when you're ready to set them off.

2. Wear gloves
From holding fireworks to sparklers, gloves will protect the hands from stray sparks - Always wear gloves!

3. Bonfires
Never use flammable liquid to light a bonfire. Always locate the bonfire a considerable distance away from people and buildings making sure the area is cordoned off.

4. Putting out fireworks and sparklers
Once the fireworks and sparklers have died out, put the excess material in a bucket of cold water to cool them down before disposing of them. Always remember any small spark can set off a fire.

5. Keep pets inside
All pets are afraid of fireworks and can become unpredictable when frightened. Keep all pets inside away from 
the noise.

6. Light fireworks far away from the audience
Pieces of firework which are still lit can fall quite a distance from where it has been lit and can be fatal. Make sure 
fireworks are lit as far away as possible.

7. Keep warm
The nights are getting colder so wrap up warm.

8. Take a flashlight
If your car isn’t parked in a well-lit area it may be tricky to find it, take a flashlight or cellphone with you so you're able to find your way safely.

9. Keep anything flammable away from naked flames
Even perfume can set off a fire so be aware of keeping fire away from yourself.

10. Have fun!
There may be rules and regulations regarding firework displays but if these safety tips are followed, you're sure to have a fun, safe night.
HAPPY BONFIRE NIGHT!

Source :http://www.safetymedia.co.uk/download/Safety-Media-Bonfire-Night-Tips.pdf

Toronto Options Education Day Opens the Market

Friday, September 28, 2012
Toronto Options Education Day Opens the Market

Montréal Exchange opened the market to celebrate the fifth anniversary of the Options Education Day held in partnership with the Options Industry Council (OIC). Joining representatives from the Montreal Exchange were presenters and sponsors of the Toronto Options and Education Day, to be held on September 29th at the Hilton Toronto. Since 2008, over 4,500 individuals have participated in this learning initiative, which was created to provide retail investors with the tools to navigate the options world. For more information visit m-x.ca.

Source:http://tmx.com/en/news_events/broadcast_centre/events_calendar.html

rising sun

.... another day in oil and gas paradise

hahahahah

NASA’s robot Curiosity landed on Mars.   
Early pictures show no signs of ESPN, beer or porn.   
This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars.

Photos of Vapor Cloud Involved in Aug 6 Accident at Chevron Refinery in Richmond, CA

Ok I know I'm a little slow on this, but here are a few pictures of the Vapor Cloud Involved in August 6 Accident at Chevron Refinery in Richmond, CA. 

http://www.csb.gov/gallery/default.aspx?SID=105&F_All=y

Happy n95 Day! ...What the heck is n95 Day?

Source:http://blogs.cdc.gov/niosh-science-blog/2012/09/n95day/

What? You didn’t know it was N95 day? Don’t worry! Exchanging gifts is not a required practice. N95 Day is a time to recognize the importance of respiratory protection in the workplace and familiarize yourself with the resources out there to help you make educated decisions when selecting and wearing a respirator. There are many types of respirators and they all have their own function; it can be almost mind-boggling. So today (9/5, get it?) we focus our attention on the N95 filtering facepiece respirator because so many workers across a wide range of industries depend on the N95 for protection when working in environments with hazardous airborne particles. So nurses, construction workers, emergency responders, painters, gardeners and everyone else required to join the N95 club, raise your respirator in the air in celebration because today we unite under the banner of respiratory protection for all!

OK, that got a little dramatic. But respiratory protection is important. It’s always best practice to eliminate hazards through engineering, or by removing the hazard altogether by substituting non-toxic alternatives; however, when respirators are necessary it’s a good idea for users to know more about them.  So take some time today to explore the resources provided by NIOSH to improve your understanding of N95 respirators.

• What do they do?
• When should you wear one?
• How do you know your chosen respirator is approved?

These are all questions that can be answered on the NIOSH Trusted-Source page atknowits.niosh.gov. While you’re there, be sure to check out our list of approved filtering facepiece respirators. Dust off that box of N95s sitting on your shelf and specifically look for the approval number (also known as the TC Number), which will be located either on the box, the instructions, the respirator itself, or any combination of the three. (HINT: The number is going to start with TC – 84A -) Match that number with the make, model, and corresponding approval number on the list of approved respirators to be sure you are being properly protected by a NIOSH-approved respirator. If you can’t find your N95 on the list, you should look into what you are wearing because you could have accidentally purchased a counterfeit respirator. Just because the box says N95 on it, doesn’t necessarily mean that the mask you are wearing is NIOSH-approved.

We’ve heard all the excuses before…

But, you wear a surgical mask regardless of the situation because it is pretty much the same thing, isn’t it?

False! You can read the technical reasons of the “why” they are different pieces of protective equipment on our blog post N95 Respirators and Surgical Masks. 

But, reading stuff about respirators puts you to sleep?

We have that base covered too. Grab a cup of coffee and put your feet on your desk as you enjoy this YouTube video covering the basics of donning, doffing, user seal checks, and fit testing courtesy of our friends over at OSHA.

But, NIOSH’s National Personal Protective Technology Laboratory web site is too hard to navigate!

OK, we admit it. There is just so much information we want to share with users about respirators, along with other personal protective equipment, our web site was bulging at the seams. With a little bit of elbow grease we were able to organize, polish, and pretty-up the face of all that information. Please, check out our new look!

While you’re celebrating N95 day in your own way, keep an eye on NIOSH social media. Expect tweets today every 95 minutes between 9 and 5. Know someone who wears an N95 respirator? Please, retweet us to pass the word along so we can all be confident that our respiratory protection is keeping us safe.

Jaclyn Krah, MA

Ms. Krah is a Health Communication Specialist in the NIOSH National Personal Protective Technology Laboratory.

Cha-ching$

OH&S/HSE certifications in Alberta
A few certification$ to consider if you want to "stack chedda" (make more money) .


GOLD SEAL CERTIFICATION FOR SAFETY SUPERVISORS
http://www.cca.cc/services/gold.htm

HEALTH, SAFETY &ENVIRONMENT CERTIFICATE
http://conted.ucalgary.ca/public/category/courseCategoryCertificateProfile.do?method=load&certificateId=1706235 


CERTIFIED HEALTH & SAFETY CONSULTANT (CHSC)
https://portal.csse.org/opendoc.asp?docID=2177

CANADIAN REGISTRATION BOARD OF OCCUPATIONAL HYGIENISTS (CRBOH)
http://www.crboh.ca/documents/136roh%20roh%20fast%20track%20roht%20applicaiton.pdf

CANADIAN REGISTERED SAFETY PROFESSINAL (CRSP)
http://www.bcrsp.ca/pdf/EXAMINATION%20BLUEPRINT%202010.pdf

OCCUPATIONAL HEALTH AND SAFETY CERTIFICATATE (OH&SC)
http://www.mtroyal.ca/ProgramsCourses/ContinuingEducation/healthhumanservice/occupationalhealth/

NATIONAL CONSTRUCTION SAFETY OFFICER (NCSO)
http://www.acsa-safety.org/page.php?s=2&p=4

Tweet Tweet

A few helpful links for the twitter crowd, now you actually have a good reason to check twitter at work. 

Health Canada ‏ @HealthCanada

Public Health PHAC ‏ @PHAC_GC

Environnement Canada @environnementca

AB Human Services ‏ @ABHumanServices

AHS_behealthy ‏ @AHS_behealthy

Alberta Enviro & SRD ‏ @AENV_SRD

Alberta construction safety association @officialACSA 

InjuredABWorker ‏ @InjuredABWorker

CSSE - Occ. Safety ‏ @CSSE

OHS at U of A Ext ‏ @uaxOHS

The Board of Canadian Registered Safety Professionals (BCRSP) @BCRSP

OccHealthSafety ‏ @OccHealthSafety

STARS Ambulance ‏ @STARSambulance

Canadian Occupational Safety magazine ‏ @COSmagazine

The Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety ‏ @CCOHS
KCountryPublicSafety ‏ @KCPublicSafety
Energy Resources Conservation board‏ @ERCB_AB
Canadian Institutes of Health Research  ‏ @CIHR_IRSC
OHS Insider ‏ @OHSInsider
KCountryPublicSafety ‏ @KCPublicSafety
Transportation Safety Board of Canada @bstcanada
AMA Road Reports@AMARoadReports
CBC Traffic@CalgaryCommute

Corny joke alert!

Some people bring happiness wherever they go – you bring happiness whenever you go.


Pretty cool link below (but then again what the heck do I know, I'm still learning to use my microwave).

http://www.bakadesuyo.com/here-are-the-things-that-are-proven-to-make-y

TapRooT (Root Cause Analysis Software) Newbie?

So your boss wants you to learn TapRooT (Root Cause Analysis Software)? Hhhhha have fun. Okay it's not that difficult but make sure you brew a fresh pot of coffee. Anyway hopefully this video will get you started.

No Fear in the Now

Awesome and true.... 

Books about happiness

Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth
"Utilizing sophisticated methodology and three decades of research by the world's leading expert on happiness, Happiness challenges the present thinking of the causes and consequences of happiness and redefines our modern notions of happiness. Winner of the 2008 PSP Prose Award for Excellence in Psychology, Professional and Scholarly Publishing Division of the Association of American Publishers." Check it out here.

The Happiness Advantage
"In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor, who spent over a decade living, researching, and lecturing at Harvard University, draws on his own research—including one of the largest studies of happiness and potential at Harvard and others at companies like UBS and KPMG—to fix this broken formula. Using stories and case studies from his work with thousands of Fortune 500 executives in 42 countries, Achor explains how we can reprogram our brains to become more positive in order to gain a competitive edge at work." Check it out here.

The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom
"In his widely praised book, award-winning psychologist Jonathan Haidt examines the world’s philosophical wisdom through the lens of psychological science, showing how a deeper understanding of enduring maxims-like Do unto others as you would have others do unto you, or What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger-can enrich and even transform our lives." Check it out here.

The Happiness Project
"In this lively and compelling account, Rubin chronicles her adventures during the twelve months she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier." Check it outhere.

The How of Happiness
"Drawing upon years of her own pioneering research with thousands of men and women, psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky reveals that much of our capacity for happiness is within our power. Detailing an easy-to- follow plan, including exercises in new ways of thinking and understanding our individual obstacles, The How of Happiness offers a positive and empowering way to sustain a new level of joy in our lives." Check it out here.

 And what if you don't feel like reading?

"This Emotional Life" is a three part special featuring Harvard happiness expertDaniel Gilbert. You can watch it on PBS or stream it free with Amazon Prime here.

Source:http://www.bakadesuyo.com/what-are-the-best-books-about-happiness

Changes to impaired driving penalties in Summer 2012

 So what does this all mean? Download the pdf below, dam good explanation.

http://www.transportation.alberta.ca/Content/docType4789/Production/Fact_Sheet.pdf

Preventing Dehydration

H2O Basics:
Water plays a vital role in all cellular activities, transporting essential vitamins and minerals at the cell level throughout the body. If your body becomes dehydrated, the capability of your transport system is compromised, and you will lose strength and energy. Lack of water can cause metabolic waste and by-products like lactic acid, uric acid, ammonia and other toxins to accumulate in our soft tissues. You don’t want your soft tissues to accumulate with these toxins. Drinking adequate amounts of water throughout the day will ensure that all this junk is properly flushed out.

Health benefits of proper hydration

• Water helps remove toxins that lead to inflammation.
• Water increases the immune system and helps prevent  movement system disorders.
• Water increases the lubrication of joints and helps prevent arthritis and back pain.
• Water gives your muscles an energy boost.
• Water helps to prevent heart disease and stroke by helping to prevent blockage of arteries.
• Water enhances brain function and helps prevent memory loss.
• Water improves skin health and outside appearance.

Q:How much water does our body need?

A:Last time we came in all shapes and sizes, so to determine how much water your body needs, you can take your body weight and divide that number by 2.

That’s how many ounces of water you need every day!

Risk = Probability + Severity + Exposure.

Risk = Probability + Severity + Exposure.

Free occupational health and safety magazine?

Oh snap!
Did you know the Alberta government publishes a free occupational health and safety magazine?
http://employment.alberta.ca/SFW/126.html

U of A vs. U of C

University of Alberta Occupational Health & Safety Certificate
Program requirements:
6 core courses
2 elective courses
35 credit hours in enrichment seminars

EXOS4620 Introduction to Health and Safety Systems $575
EXOS4621 Management of Health and Safety Systems $575
EXOS4622 Fundamentals of Occupational Hygiene $575
EXOS4623 Applied Occupational Hygiene $575
EXOS4624 Health and Safety Legislation and Policy $675
EXMGT5587 Organizational Behaviour $575

Program requirements costs:
total cost for 6 core courses = $3550
total cost for 2 elective courses (avg price $575X2)=$1150
total cost for 35h enrichment seminars (avg price $375X7)= $1875

total damage $5825
--

University of Calgary HSE Certificate
Program requirements: 300 hours
core courses-160h
optional courses-100–140h
elective management courses upto 40h

BMC 213 Business and Leadership for HSE Professionals $599
BMC 143 Hazard Assessment and Risk Management  $459
BMC 104 Health and Safety Management Systems: The Basics $519
BMC 317 Regulations, Roles, and Responsibilities for HSE
         Professionals (Formerly BMC 121 Occupational Health and Safety Law) $519
BMC 197 Occupational Hygiene: The Basics $599

Program requirements costs:
5 core courses=$2695
4 optional courses (avg price $499)=$1996
1 elective management course (avg price $519)=$519

total damage $5210

today's hahhahaha

A thief broke into my house last night... 
He started searching for money, 
So I woke up and searched with him.

Free Expert Resumé Review

Can't hurt to try?

Root Cause Analysis (RCA), What the fc&k is RCA?

Soooo you want to learn about RCA.  Holy s#!t you must be bored. Anyway here's a link to get you started.

https://servicelink.pinnacol.com/pinnacol_docs/lp/cdrom_web/safety/management/accident_investigation/Root_Cause.pdf

Safety Alerts

Now I know we all have our own source for safety alerts, but here is one more (if you didn't have it already)

http://www.enform.ca/safety_resources/safety_alerts/Safety_Alerts.aspx

To celebrate National Sleep Awareness Week.....zzzzzzzzzz

National Sleep Awareness Week™ an annual public education and awareness campaign to promote the importance of sleep March 5-11, 2012. I will celebrate by sleeping as much as I can, I hope by boss understands.

Safety awareness for teenagers (video)

BloodyLuckyAlberta

http://www.youtube.com/BloodyLuckyAlberta

Nothing like a little shock value 

to raise awareness about workplace safety. 

Historic Workplace & Environmental Health and Safety Films

Historic Workplace & Environmental Health and Safety Films... funny, shocking, sad even a little frightening... Occupational health and safety has come along way.

http://www.youtube.com/user/markdcatlin/videos?sort=dd&flow=grid&view=0&page=21

Gratitude

Louie Schwartzberg - Gratitude

hahahahhahahah

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity

2. Anti-constitutionalistically

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. No thanks, I’m married.

2. Nope, no more booze for me!

3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.

4. Taco Bell?  No thanks, I’m not hungry.

5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?

6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.

7. I’m not interested in fighting you.

8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!

9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.

10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

....might as well start the year of with some jokes

....might as well start the year of with some jokes

Steve Hughes on health and safety - BBC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAnGYfnFz9I&feature=youtu.be